Need Isolation From Social Distancing?

Most of us have only been home for a week. And that doesn't even mean we have been actually home. We still need to go to the grocery store, the gas station, or maybe the corner store or the park. Maybe you are like my family and you've designated one of the adults in the house to be the shopper... and the other stays home with the family? Maybe you are a single parent, and you have to take your child with you?

So while we may feel like we have been completely isolated, we really have only barely been socially distanced... why then do I feel like I need MORE isolation? When I have pretty much been alone???

It's very confusing. We are used to being around hundreds of people a day. Some of us not by choice. But we are used to it. Now, we have had to adjust significantly. We are isolated, but not Home Alone necessarily. This is why I feel like I still need some distance. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

While my other half goes to work, I am home, not alone, with two kids. I am mentally exhausted from all of the questions, the activities I need to create every 10 minutes, the 20 times I need to restart the videos, the 80 times I need to get them snacks. It doesn't stop until they go to sleep! This is all very normal and happens on a daily basis. But when you know you can't leave, it feels like you are trapped. Even if you are used to it. I think it's a mental trick.

We are all experiencing this self-isolation a little bit differently. However, most of us feel quite similar. It's hard to feel good about yourself as a parent when you wish you were alone after week! We need to give ourselves a break though. This is not a normal day. Life is not normal as we know it. We must continue to adjust and retrain our brains. We must continue to support each other in our feelings of isolation, even if we are not alone.

It is important to recognize these feelings, sit with them, and take a breather. If you don't you will be like me, lashing out at the littlest things. Completely irritable, with a low threshold for tolerance. The kids don't understand. They just feel like it's a long weekend. They actually love this. I don't want to bring them any additional stress. But I feel stressed.

Sometimes I walk outside and just take a minute to myself. Sometimes I'm nice about it and sometimes I say, "get away from me, I need a minute." Followed by stink eye from my spouse.

I'm working on this everyday. 7 Days feels like a month. I must get better. I strive to be better everyday. I feel like a broken record because I keep saying I will do better and then I regress.

Regression during isolation is not the winning combination. Communication with our partners is key. Delivering the message that "I can't take it anymore, but I know they need me. I know I have to keep on kicking. I'm sorry and I'm trying harder."  But actually making progress so my words aren't fluff.

Today my partner sent me a text asking to start over. We didn't have a great weekend communication wise. Monday is always a new start. It used to bring me a lot of anxiety, but now I look at it as an opportunity. One that I am lucky to have. It is not lost on me that people pray everyday to have what I have. I will forever work towards being the best partner and Mom that I can be.

Using social distancing to bring my family together is the new name of the game! If you have had any of these feelings, know that you are not alone. Know that they are not permanent feelings. And most of all know that you can change all of this. Not overnight but Day by Day, frame by frame.